chubz

i feel so sad..i knew you in a short period of time..we became friends..then as the second sem of third year starts..you began to ignore me..dunno why.. whats your reason?? it hurts..

haizt

nakakains... auko ng ganitong feeling.. i feel so alone.. so hopeless.. parang wala lang.. damn i hate it.. parang wala akong patutunguhan.. shuttered dreams..

haizt

First time ko syang nakita, i was 1st year college, 2nd semester. I was a beginner. I was'nt familiar about being a college student, how to be a lady. The first time our eyes met, i knew that feeling, it was a crush. A crush that developed into something else. Into love. Alam ko naman rin na sa pag-tolerate nung nararamdaman ko para sa kanya, ako rin ang masasaktan. Its all about RISK. Walang kasiguraduhan maliban sa kaalamang hindi niya ko mamahalin. Ilang buwan rin ang lumipas, nagkakilala kami. Nagkaroon ng chance na magkausap via cellphone. Akala ko start na yun, hindi pala. Biglang nagbago. Hindi ko alam kung bakit.
Masakit. Ewan ko para san yun. I did my best. Pero kulang.

i am pink!

You are pink! You are a fun loving, bubbly person. You love your friends, you love your family, you love just about everything! You are probably often described as "cute", and you like it that way. You are usually a little superficial, you don't really like to take things deeper. You can definately have a bit of a temper, but you get over things quickly too. Your relationships are based on fun and adventure. You are a good mix of white and red - passionate and a little lusty, but with an innocent charm. You may be a little spoiled, but that's okay with you. You are probably pretty secure with who you are. You are energetic, but not overly so (like reds, yellows, and oranges). You don't mind giving in to other people sometimes. You like being in the spotlight, and being recognized for your accomplishments. You love spending time with your friends. In fact, you probably hate being away from them. Being alone is not something you enjoy at all. Your friends know that with you, they will always be loved and havea great time. You, in a nutshell: Cute, bubbly, happy, a bit of a diva, friendly, confident, loving, fun. PINK!

Her Father's Song

I saw the rain fall down today,
Watch lightning crash through skies of grey,
Why can't life just be polite, and wait...

I saw the lights outside your house,
Red lights cut like nothin' else,
The scene of a silent cry for help

How are we supposed to do this?
If everyone we love, still lets us down,
If you're there, can you hear me now?

No matter how hard i try,
Can't get you out of my mind,
Wish i could be there to help you say goodbye
Don't hold it inside, 'cause what's left can be right,
What's left can be right

I saw the sky go black today,
I felt your tears, and ached your pain,
It's hard to tell how much this changed,
How you see everything
And all i can do is pray,
That you don't take the blame,
'cause it's not your fault, that it happened this way,
Happened this way

How are we supposed to do this?
If everyone we love, still lets us down,
If you're there, can you hear me now?

No matter how hard i try,
Can't get you out of my mind,
Wish i could be there to help you say goodbye
Don't hold it inside, 'cause what's left can be right,
What's left can be right

ist day of july

I guess its the best way to start your birthday month. Trying to forget that asshole. I hate him. But, do a have the right? I love him. He never showed anything. He just made me hope for nothing. Now, he have a girlfriend. She's a bitch. Do I really care? Or should I hate her for being his girl??

My feelings right now, I cant tell. What should I think? What should I do? Seeing that fireworks really can express my feelings and emotions. feels like bursting. Whew.

No matter how hard I try. Cant get you out of mind. I love him. Why cant we be? Do I really deserve somebody else? Well, who is he?

pre-cupids day

Friday the thirthinth, february 13, 2009, what was i expecting? Tomorrow is valentine's day. An ordinary day for me but every year, february 14 is unforgettable. Anyway, what could be the best to happen this day? After all, today is friday the thirthinth, some says it is a lucky day and the other half, it is cursed. Well, its different for me.
Its been a week since i haven't saw him. I refer him as Gener Pilapil. He's my long time crush. and somehow, its not just a crush for me. It's love. I am worried cause i can't even see his shadow. And, he's a junior and I can imagine a big red FAILED in his class cards. Where had he been? He can't just drop all those subjects. But after the long day of wondering where he is, i finally saw him. I asked my friends to come with me to take a look at them. we saw him. I can't explain how happy I am to see him on his class. Then he get out of the room and talk to my friends. He's so pale and became so thinner. Were not talking to each other, but its okay with me. Seeing him is better than not, right. after their talk, he waved goodbye. we follow him, and after he enter to our office, he paused to the door. He looked at me and smile. Eye-to-eye. I couldn't believe it.
Until i got home, i cant stop myself from smiling. Im so happy. Even if were not what i was hoping for, that smile is worth a happiness of a lifetime.

you and me, from a distance

from the stair i was sitting
i saw you greeting my friends
one by one
you look at 'em
smiling, saying hi
i was eager to see you
but that moment

a pang of jealousy didn't occur

not even a bit of excitement
whew..
i think i moved on

suddenly,
i was standing close to you
surrounded by friends
i felt my heart beats faster and louder
its hard for me to breath
i looked at you
hoping to catch your gaze
but only disappointment caught me
what was i expecting?
after talking and flirting with my friends
i thought it'll be easy for us
but it wasn't
so, i turned around
walked away
avoiding everything
anything that can upset me

but a question
popped into my head,
when i walked away,
did you care to look at me?