you make me smile..

i caught myself smiling
without knowing why
i saw your name
next to mine
it feels so right
can you blame me?


i caught myself smiling
without you knowing why
you keep my spirit high
you make me sad
you make me cry
yet i still love you.


i caught myself smiling
with you as my reason
now i know
the meaning of this
i can never catch myself smiling
if it wasn't because of you.


i saw the two of us
holding hands
walking, talking, laughing
it feels so right
my heart belongs to you
as my life revolves around you.


i love you.
if it is okay
if it not, still i will say
i love you
no matter what


i cant find words to say
i cant express in any way
i cant turn my back on you
i love you
even if its breaking me into pieces
i'll stay in love with you..

from nothing to something.. (i hope)

its been two years and a couple of months. well, i still like this person. i don't know why i keep on holding on with my feelings, i'm not even sure of winning. for all these years, months, days, he's always on my mind. can't get him out. unexpected things happened. i never thought we could be like this. were friends now. from simple text mate..

i can still remember those days when i'm trying to catch his attention, following him, catching his gaze. i just laughed at myself and realized how dumbed i became yet happy. then, he start to notice me, responds to my smiles, became friends with my friends, telling stories about our families, about our lives. its just so happy, were "plends".

and now, im confused. i don't know what to feel, i don't know what to think. yes, he's asking me about my love life.. is he so stupid to ask? no. he knows how i feel about him. he's concerned. he told me to find somebody to take care of me. it hurts, i'll admit it, it hurts. of all person to tell me that words, i've never expect it to be him.

then i got hospitalized. he told me to get well soon. nice, isn't it? he ask if i'm okay. i said yes. it was a text message. then last wednesday, i saw him. my heartbeat race. me and a friend took the chance and said hi. we talked, but not that special. and before i went home, he looked at me and said "ingat". i was so happy. he looked so handsome.

i loved him. i will always do.. i love him so much to give up on him.. not now..

*sigh* i waited for a text. its been a week. ZERO. i missed him. i really do. i want to see him. how? i don't know. i hope i can survive. i know i can.

i really love him. i love this person whose arm is in my shoulder.

confusion loves me.

im so confused. afraid. sad. i dont know why??